Updated on April 30, 2017
September 17, 2016 – Wise River, Montana
Well, this was unexpected.
Last winter, I worked at Lutsen Resort in Minnesota for a guy named Jim. Quite the adventurous type, he talked a lot about his time in Alaska and Montana. When I told him I was spending the following year in Montana, he mentioned that he would probably be visiting, being that he still has a condo there.
And here we are.
Camping along the Wise River – a place famous in Montana for its fly fishing, camping, and scenery. The weekend thus far has included scenic drives, good conversation, fishing (Jim fishing, me taking photos), hiking, and camping. Not that I didn’t take the man for his word, but it just seems more and more rare that people actually hold themselves to it.
Maybe it’s because he’s an older guy.
On our hike, we came across two bowhunters on the trail. Jim greeted them and offered to turn around as to not interfere with their hunt, but they had decided to call it quits and engaged him in conversation instead. Turns out that these two were born and raised in the area. Almost immediately, they began voicing their concerns about the dwindling populations in fish due to the ever-increasing population of people and the overfishing that inherently results. They went on about grizzlies now living in the area which has affected their hunting, as well as how technology has completely changed the trajectory of our lives for the worse…
As I silently nod and agree with every word they have to say.
Part of the reason Jim came out to visit was to help him decide what to do with his condo. He bought it years ago, before Big Sky was what it is now – more people, more traffic, more buildings.
Less scenic. Less enchanting. Less pure.
“It is of the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it.” – Aristotle
Posted on April 26, 2017
September 3, 2016 – Bozeman, Montana
And then there were three.
Kevin, Elisabeth, and myself. I’m hiking up Sacagawea Peak with them and Thomas, thinking how quickly the time has passed with the others. Paul and Christine left yesterday. Haley and Ally are leaving tomorrow. Thomas is done on the farm, but staying in town. Mitsui’s gone. Tyler left as well, but not before fixing his van’s side mirror and announcing, “My mirror is being held together by underwear!”
Witnessing the fluidity of the others, I find myself becoming more and more thankful for the three beside me that remain. This is also the first time I’ve been in a situation that feels so much like living in a hostel without being an actual hostel…
Jesus, this lifestyle can be rough.
Recent celebrations bounce around my mind. Pizza and beer at Bridger Brewing. Family-style dinner at home, courtesy of Christine. Games. Drinks. We reach the peak, taking in some glorious views of the Bridger Mountains and Bozeman area. I start to think more about how it feels to be on the “other end.”
Getting to know people.
Watching them walk away.
Wishing they would stay.
“And the danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions, that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness.” – Sylvia Plath
Posted on April 23, 2017
August 25, 2016 – Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming
“And that… is a brief history of my colon.”
My cousin Molly always had a way with words. She’s driving my other cousins (Kelsey, Reese) and I from Yellowstone National Park to the Grand Tetons whilst entertaining us with too much information. Despite the forest fires blazing throughout the parks, we’re still managing to enjoy ourselves.
A much needed break to get away and clear my head.
Do I sense an annual tradition coming on? My immediate family only went on one or two vacations that I can remember… perhaps my cousins can fill that void from here on out. I’m sure it helps matters that we are all young and single, but I think more to the point is their sense of adventure. Kelsey initiated our trip to Europe. Reese went on excursions with me in Minnesota. Molly is taking charge of our current journey.
And I’m truly thankful for them all.
I would consider this the first time I’ve been away from the Midwest for as long as I have, and it feels great to have family come out and visit. Camping, hiking, sightseeing. How truly American of us.
If only we had some hats to throw into the geysers.
“I’ve never looked more like a lesbian than right now.” – Molly
Posted on April 6, 2017
August 12, 2016 – Bozeman, Montana
It’s crazy how fast one year can go.
A shooting star appears, then vanishes. Just a year ago I was in Minnesota watching the Perseid meteor shower in a boat on a lake with my friends. This year I’m viewing it in Hyalite Canyon near the reservoir with new friends. I look at Ally, who is laying next to me on some blankets outside of my tent. Haley is next to her, followed by Mitsui.
We’re all smiles.
And why wouldn’t we be? It’s a perfect night under the “Big Sky,” and I’m comfortably close to a very attractive young woman who is pulling me closer. I was not expecting this. My night only gets better as I consume a few adult beverages and continue stargazing with the gang. We eventually move into the tent, where Ally and I talk for a while and end the night with a kiss.
I know better, but I can’t help myself.
And thus begins the endless series of questions: What does this girl want from me? Should I distance myself entirely? Can I control my thoughts and feelings towards her? Why am I always drawn to the wrong girls? Is it an issue of ego? Lack of experience in my younger years? Can I handle getting hurt again like I did back in Iowa City?
Infatuation sets in.
Or is it lust?
“Desire is the kind of thing that eats you and leaves you starving.” – Nayyirah Waheed
Posted on March 18, 2017
August 10, 2016 – Bozeman, Montana
Our food system in this county is appalling.
Working in the food service industry for over ten years has shown me plenty about America’s wasteful habits, but this is new to me. Dumpster diving. Not necessarily your typical “dumpster,” this one is in the alley behind a local grocery store and contains mostly plastic, cardboard, and produce that doesn’t sell fast enough, I guess?
“Oh my God, look at those tomatoes…” one of us says. “These apples are totally fine,” another comments.
This is an activity that I wouldn’t normally engage in, but our farm leader encourages it, and the others seem alright with it. Part of this is about sustainability, right? We then head to the local food bank and retrieve a bounty of food that would otherwise go to waste. I’ve taken clients of mine to one of these before, but never been on the receiving end…
We bring the goods home to the rest of our team, which has increased in numbers by four: Paul and Christine from Belgium/France, and Haley and Ally from Rhode Island. The former two are my age, in a relationship, and an absolute pleasure to be around. The latter two are nineteen, single, and gorgeous.
Don’t even think about it, Nick. You’ve been down that road.
Work at the farm is going well: the team poured some concrete the other day for a tiny-house-in-the-making, as well as some entryway steps. I have been shaping a “tree sanctuary” of sorts with Mitsui and the girls. As if I need this kind of distraction. I enjoy the landscaping and artistic freedom that Brock has given us with the projects.
I can also feel my parental/provisional reflexes kicking in, as we are now up to nine volunteers at the farm. Sharing a tiny living space. Cooking for each other.
Caring for each other.
“In a world of seven billion people, set to grow to nine billion by 2050, wasting food makes no sense – economically, environmentally and ethically, aside from the cost implications, all the land, water, fertilizers and labour needed to grow that food is wasted – not to mention the generation of greenhouse gas emissions produced by food decomposing on landfill and the transport that is ultimately thrown away.” – Achim Steiner
Updated on March 9, 2017
August 2, 2016 – Bozeman, Montana
As I arrive in Bozeman, I find myself in awe yet again.
With the Bridger Mountains to the northeast, Big Belt Mountains to the northwest, Madison Range to the southwest, and Gallatin Range to the south, Bozeman’s geographical location is nothing short of awe-inspiring. I thought the summer set the bar too high, but maybe not…? I eventually locate my new temporary residence, which turns out to be close to the MSU campus. I immediately feel like I’m back in Iowa City.
Be careful, Nick.
Entering the basement apartment, I meet my co-workers/roommates: Mitsui from Brazil whom I will be rooming with, and Kevin and Elisabeth from Vermont who share the other bedroom. There’s a half kitchen and half living room. I’ve had worse. After some time I also meet Michelle, who resides in a truck camper down the street, but shares the community spaces with us. Five of us total. They all seem nice. I decide to get settled in.
Later, we all take bikes to the nearby bowling alley to engage in some team-building time over cold brews and colder lanes. We’re farmers, not bowlers. We then decide to try our luck at pool at the nearby “Rocking R” bar. More beer, more laughs. We stay too long, then ride our bikes home under the stars. A beautiful first night.
I think I’ll like it here.
The first day of work is good, but hard. Physically demanding. HOT. I’m not properly hydrated, per me. Brock, who seems very kind, gives me tasks such as weeding, transporting wood chips – as well as massive logs – and creating frames for concrete steps. I observe newly constructed buildings, a pond, a hugelkultur pile, and various farm animals (chickens, goats, rabbits, cats). There are various garden and orchard areas. Seems like a great place.
Brock gives me permission to film for my project, which excites me. After work, I walk around downtown Bozeman and apply for jobs. I also apply to Big Sky resort for the winter.
I feel truly fortunate to be here, now.
“Solo travel is a rare opportunity to (somewhat) disentangle yourself from the influences and expectations of your everyday life. It’s an opportunity to follow your own rhythm and interests. To sit quietly and discover whether your feelings for a piece of art, a hike, music, a destination, an experience of any kind, are real. To discover who you are when no one is looking.” – Janice Waugh
Posted on January 22, 2017
July 31, 2016 – Hungry Horse, Montana
A timeline of the most remarkable July of my life:
July 4th – Miri and I walk around Hungry Horse and observe hundreds of people lighting off their own fireworks in the center of town. The celebration lasts for hours.
July 5th – Miri and I set out for a two-day trip into Glacier National Park (East Glacier/Two Medicine/Many Glacier). We hike trails, converse, remain silent, encounter our first bear. It’s my first back-country camping experience, and it feels like one of the greatest things I’ve ever done with my life.
July 12th – Miri and I go cliff diving in the Hungry Horse reservoir with Beth and Chuck (Tom’s daughter and son-in-law). We feel alive. It’s a month of many “firsts.” Lisa arrives.
July 13th – Miri leaves for Washington. I am saddened.
July 17th – We cater a fundraising event featuring zookeeper Jack Hannah. I serve him a slice of cheesecake. The positive response to our work is overwhelming.
July 22nd – Lisa and I attend a private book reading with Meg and Tom at the historic Wheeler Cabin in Glacier National Park. The author (Terry Tempest Williams) expresses her concerns about conservation and her feelings toward the native people of this country. She signs a book for Meg.
July 24th – The four of us hike the Highline Trail in Glacier National Park. It’s great to see Meg and Tom get out for a hike. The terrain is unbelievable. I think of my family, wishing that they could see the “Crown of the Continent.” Tom and I see a grizzly near the road as we drive out of the park.
July 26th – Lisa and I drive up Desert Mountain to stargaze at her request. We catch the sunset as well. Unexpectedly, we also witness a faint showing of the Northern Lights.
July 29th – Amanda (a co-worker at the rafting company) and I hike the 20-mile Pitamakan Pass trail in Glacier. This becomes my favorite hike thus far. Miri would have loved it. I enjoy getting to know Amanda better.
July 31st – I enjoy my final dinner with Meg and Tom. They will be missed, and so will this place.
“For you Meg, Nicholas, Lisa, Tom. Blessings – your hands upon the Earth. 22 July 16” – Terry Tempest Williams
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