June 24, 2019 – Crosslake, Minnesota

And I’m back.

I can’t say that I ever really pictured coming back to Crosslake for round two, but here we are. I visited Mari and Syr (my first hosts) recently, and Kaia happened to be in town (Mari’s mother). What a lovely time. I stated my reasons for being back home:

One of my uncles recently had his second leg amputated.

We may be building him a tiny home on my dad’s property.

The VA hospital is keeping him for another two or three months.

I want to remain close by in the event that my services are needed.

During our conversation, I mentioned that given these circumstances, I did not really have a plan for the summer. Kaia offered a second stay at her and Dallin’s place in Crosslake. An intriguing thought.

I walk down from “my” guest cabin to the dock on the lake shore. I have missed this view. It feels so strange, coming back after four years. Yet given the amount of time I spent with the family overall, it feels familiar and comfortable—a rare feeling for me when arriving at my next host.

As my gaze sweeps the length of the lake, I reflect on the last couple months.

The road trip from California back to Iowa. Staying with old friends in Utah that I haven’t seen in years. Visiting another in Colorado the next day. Seeing my sister’s new house in central Iowa; being gifted some quality time with her, her husband, and my nephew.

Easter at my mom’s place in Minnesota. Working with my father and brother in Iowa. Hookah therapy sessions with bro. Socializing with old friends. Visiting my uncle in the hospital. Seeing grandma in the nursing home.

Trying to find peace in not having a plan.

I get settled in to my temporary living space. Dallin and Kaia will have a variety of tasks for me to start on soon. Tomorrow, I begin serving and bartending again at Manhattan’s down the road.

Here’s to a good summer.

“Though some choices may slow our journey, every path we take gives us more familiarity with how our actions affect the world around us, giving us more opportunities to learn how to help ourselves and others.” – Matthew Underwood